1958年，时年14岁的托马斯·斯坦贝克写信给父亲约翰·斯坦贝克，表示自己在学校爱上了一个名叫苏珊的女孩儿。看看这位诺贝尔文学奖得主的回信吧。

New York

纽约

November 10, 1958

1958年11月10日

Dear Thom:

托马斯爱儿：

We had your letter this morning. I will answer it from my point of view and of course Elaine will from hers.

我们在今晨收到了你的信。我会按照我的想法给你回复，当然了，伊莱恩（托马斯的继母）亦是如此。

First — if you are in love — that’s a good thing — that’s about the best thing that can happen to anyone. Don’t let anyone make it small or light to you.

首先，坠入情网是件好事儿，这是人这辈子能碰到的，最美好的事情了。勿让他人的言行使你觉得这份爱无足轻重。

Second — There are several kinds of love. One is a selfish, mean, grasping, egotistical thing which uses love for self-importance. This is the ugly and crippling kind. The other is an outpouring of everything good in you — of kindness and consideration and respect — not only the social respect of manners but the greater respect which is recognition of another person as unique and valuable. The first kind can make you sick and small and weak but the second can release in you strength, and courage and goodness and even wisdom you didn’t know you had.

其次，爱分好几种。有一种是自私自利的、贪婪的、为了满足虚荣心的产物。这种爱丑陋、畸形。另一种则可以展现人最美好的一面：和蔼可亲、设身处地、相敬如宾。这种尊敬，不仅限于礼法，更多在于认识到他人的独特和可贵。第一种爱令人羸弱不堪；第二种则可以激发潜在的力量、勇气和智慧。

You say this is not puppy love. If you feel so deeply — of course it isn’t puppy love.

你说，这份感情并非出自懵懂无知。你既如此情深义重，那自然绝非儿戏。

But I don’t think you were asking me what you feel. You know better than anyone. What you wanted me to help you with is what to do about it— and that I can tell you.

不过，我想你不需要我去揣测你的感受，你自己比谁都清楚。你是想问我该如何面对这份感情，且听为父一言：

Glory in it for one thing and be very glad and grateful for it.

汝当引以为豪，心存感激。

The object of love is the best and most beautiful. Try to live up to it.

爱是至善至美的，尽力让其开花结果吧。

If you love someone — there is no possible harm in saying so — only you must remember that some people are very shy and sometimes the saying must take that shyness into consideration.

如果你爱她，不妨大胆说出来。但切记，有的人很害羞，在表达爱意的时候，务必要考虑到这一点。

Girls have a way of knowing or feeling what you feel, but they usually like to hear it also.

女孩儿能洞悉你的心思，但听人亲口说出，自是另一番滋味。

It sometimes happens that what you feel is not returned for one reason or another — but that does not make your feeling less valuable and good.

有时候，出于种种原因，你的爱意未能得到回应，但这无碍于这份感情的真挚与美好。

Lastly, I know your feeling because I have it and I’m glad you have it.

最后，知子莫若父，我为你感到高兴。

We will be glad to meet Susan. She will be very welcome. But Elaine will make all such arrangements because that is her province and she will be very glad to. She knows about love too and maybe she can give you more help than I can.

如果我们能和苏珊见面，那再好不过了。伊莱恩很乐意做好一切准备，这事儿归她管。她也懂得爱与被爱，说不定能给予你更多建议。

And don’t worry about losing. If it is right, it happens — The main thing is not to hurry. Nothing good gets away.

倘若笑渐不闻声渐悄，多情却被无情恼，无需心焦，无需急躁，要记住：金风玉露一相逢，便胜却人间无数。

Love,

Fa

善自保重，深思吾言。